What to Do When Everything Feels Like It's Going Wrong
The first thing I want to say to you is: let it out. Complain, shake off all the fear, frustration, sadness, anger… cry, stomp your feet, and express everything you are feeling inside. It doesn't matter right now whether you are right or wrong, whether there are other options or not. There will be time to reason later. Right now, what is needed is to give the voice that is afraid — the one that sees everything as dark — its moment. Don't try to reason with that part of you, or convince it that everything will be fine… not now… not before letting it express what it has been feeling and holding inside for so long. Let it all come to the surface. Let that build-up of tension, discomfort, inadequacy, and inner pain burst open… let it hurt, cry, tremble, and stomp… let it be… and find someone with enough capacity to listen, who will let you do this for as long as you need… without judgment.
I guarantee that if you allow yourself to express enough… it will pass… you will clear your inner world of everything that has been eating away at you… and you will make space inside to breathe, to see and feel clearly again, to contemplate new options, and even to reconnect with the strength that seemed to have abandoned you just a moment ago.
Allow yourself to complain — sincerely… about what hurts… just for a moment… without judgment… let yourself… and let that storm pass… because it will make space again for faith and trust in yourself… in life… in keep moving forward.
Many times we don't allow ourselves this because we judge ourselves for feeling this way… because we "should be able to cope"… "should be capable"… "should already see the options we can't see"… We also believe that if we give space to these emotions and to complaint, they will pull us so deep into the hole that we won't be able to get out. But what actually happens is that the complaint that doesn't come out — that we don't put into words — stays inside, clouding our thoughts and keeping us stuck there, seeping into every conversation. Voicing the complaint out loud, pouring out all our sorrow at once, cleanses us, calms us, and from there we can begin to digest things better and recover our strength.
How do I know this? Because I have been through it myself, and I see it in my clients, time and time again — confirming that allowing and releasing emotion creates inner space and calm. That calm leads to mental clarity, and from there, new perspectives and options appear that we couldn't have imagined before. What's more, when we create space within, something shifts in our outer world too — and it seems as though new options begin to appear on the outside as well.